i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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