I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize