she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
