That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My balls are so social today.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
