Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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