I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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