i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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