They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize