you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
