its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is Oprah even human
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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