dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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