we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
