Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
