a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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