i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
