So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
