I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize