Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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