I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
