Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
