he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
