Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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