Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
