those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
