suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
