Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
