If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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