so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
