Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
