the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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