She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
