2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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