haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
