): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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