I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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