Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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