hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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