My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
