Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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