I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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