My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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