There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
