sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
