So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
