any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
