well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
