It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
