I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
