I think I just saw someone hide a body.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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