It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
