We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
