fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
