SEEEEXXX PLEASE
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
