If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
