I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
