I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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