so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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