Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize