fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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